scripted

oral encounters are how we asses our students. we do it one-on-one. more often than not, my students are taught to memorize the answers written in our reviewers. they speak like robots. to catch them, sometimes we alter the question a little...

* what are the 3 big islands in the philippines? "the 3 big islands in the phlippines are luzon, visayas and mindanao"
* what is the name of the biggest island in the philippines? "the 3 biggest islands in the philippines are luzon, visayas and mindanao."

it's so frustrating that parents can't seem to let their children think independently. we're not even assessing the concept per se, what we're really after are the skills of critical thinking and the like. we don't put too much emphasis on memory.

honesty is a virtue

no one is as honest and candid as my students. whatever they feel like saying, even if thier thoughts are not quite clear, they blurt out...

*my lola wants to give lolo a pump to make him stand. (the lolo is confined in a hospital, and the bed has to be pumped to lift him to a sitting position)

*daddy has a big mole in his pwet! this big, teacher! (and she demonstrates, using my backside)

*teacher, your milk is smaller than mommy. (she means my mammary glands. i felt insecure for a week!)

*my mommy cannot come to the fellowship, she has a big pimple on her face kasi.

*loving, loving si mommy and daddy, kaya may baby brother na ako sa tummy ni mommy!

*teacher, mommy said daddy needs viagra medicine kasi he's sick. (she heard the word viagra, her mom said it was medicine for daddies. so, when her dad got sick...)

language barriers

sometimes, trying to converse with my kids is like conversing in a new language, one that has no definite translation. more often than not, i end up taking like them...

1. i dyink of wayey.(she just finished drinking her water)
2. pichoy patty, i want stampangtanggetti and macamorni. (i'm a pitcher, and she wants more spaghetti and macaroni)
3. batoy na to, pichoy. payit yayaper. (she went to the bathroom, and she noticed that she needs to changer her diaper)
4. yayo tami pitoyteyoko. (they played piko and patintero)
5. (while studying the 5 vowels) letoy Aa, ahhh! apoye! letoy Ee, ehh! etlog! letoy Ii, ee! ilipant! letoy Oo, oh! oyange! letoy Uu, uuh! bya! (apple, etlog, iliphant, orange and underwear)

sometimes it's so hard to control your laughter, i end up having an early washroom break.

small wonders

it's amazing how parents relate to teachers these days. the simplest things are made so ...

1. Reminder: Please follow your daughter's Assessment schedule. Class no. 1-9 Monday. Class no. 10-18 Tuesday. - "But teacher, my daughter is number 15, when will she come to school?" This, from a parent who is also my co-teacher.
2. Assignment: Please bring EGG work book tomorrow. - Her parents sent a hard boiled egg to school.
3. "Crazy Buiscuits" making tomorrow!Please bring: 1 jar peanut butter (smooth, please!), 1 pack buiscuits and assorted candies for decorations. - Parents sent a jar of peanut butter, empty.

but my kids more than make up for it...

• tichoy, i want to pyay wid the byocks. i wiy make tatle for you!
• pitcher patty, if i'm dood dirl, i go mimming?
• teacher, nikki write na N!
• i went to megamall, i saw cat, i remember you! i bring cat for you! (and she hands me a postcard with a cat in front)

and the best one, by far...

• you know teacher, papa said you're beautiful!