gossips galore

for anyone interested in applying for a teaching position, i cannot in good conscience let you do so without warning you, beware the gossips in school! they attack without warning, without provocation! they start the smoke curling, and pretty soon, a blazing inferno erupts! who are they? the very children you teach! day in and day out, they watch your every move, seeking the smallest avenue from which to start their rumors.

never be absent in school, you will live to regret it.

just last week, my partner in the kinder 1 class was absent, leaving me to handle all 4 sections. i told her students that she was home sick, and that we had to pray for her because she might go to the hospital. the following day, letters started arriving, some from concerned parents, and some from highly irate and insulted ones. these are some of what they said:

1. we extend our sincerest condolences to teacher eloise and her family. our prayers we lift to heaven.

• apparently, their daughter told them that teacher eloise was dying.

2. how is teacher eloise? what hospital will we go to, to visit her? how long will her operation be?
3. congratulations to the new mother, teacher eloise! we didn't know you were pregnant! how far along are you?

• ye gods! immaculate conception!

4. we were told that this was a catholic school. how is it that a single teacher is about to give birth? please explain why she was allowed to continue teaching in this institution if she is pregnant and unmarried.

• your own mother was single and unmarried when she had you!

5. we are a devout christian family, and we are deeply troubled by the news of your pregnancy. we know for a fact that you are unmarried, and we feel that this is not a good environment to raise our daughter. we fell we must request for a change in classes to safeguard the moral integrity of our daughter.
well, as i replied to all of them:
please be informed that teacher eloise is unable to reply because she is, at present, recuperating from a severe case of tonsillitis. she was confined to the hospital due to her extremely high temperature (40.5) she chose not to attend school for fear of spreading the virus to the children. rest assured, she will be here next week to reply to your queries.
i also explained to the children in more detail what really happened to their teacher. the day after THAT, all the notes and letters were conspicuously missing from the notebooks of the children.
parents, always take what your kids tell you with a grain of salt. give the teachers the benefit of the doubt.