Phnom Penh in 24 hours or LESS:
most bus companies will refuse to sell round-trip tickets for same day travel. it takes roughly 6 hours to reach phnom penh. so buy tickets from 2 different bus companies.
wake up call at 4.30 am to shower and dress. no time for breakfast, just a quick cup of coffee, and call a taxi at 5.30.
arrive at bus depot 6.00. get on bus to phnom penh and leave promptly at 6.30. travel, travel travel. take intermittent naps in the slightly reclining seat. tour guide goes around and takes passports for easier immigration processing. hands out cambodia entry and exit forms, and the requisite health check questionnaire. arrive at border 9.15. exit bus to go through vietnamese immigration exit.
what?!? your auntie's visa expired already! 4 days ago! (duh, that was the purpose of this trip!) why are you exiting only now? i'm sorry mr. immigrations man, but i was sick (cough! cough!) and my auntie, she's hearing impaired. she cannot travel alone. okay, but you pay fine $20.00 US dola. (ang lagay eh...) thank you very much mr. immigrations man! see you again!
get back on bus for short hop to cambodia entry immigrations and customs.
cambodian customs man takes FOREVER to process passports. pictures are taken for immigrations and customs purposes, passports are stamped, cambodia entry forms are taken. on to the quarantine area. health check done by (unsanitary - no alcohol to wipe after every use!!!) ear thermometers, questionnaires collected and back on the bus for another short hop to the restaurant.
order noodle soup, anything else takes too long, and you'll be asked to get back on the bus before your order even arrives. bus will be on it's way to phnom pehn at exactly 10.00. travel, travel, travel some more. keep trying to get some sleep. halfway through, you get to the Neak Luong ferry. short trrip (around 10 mins) and you get to the other side. travel, travel, travel some more (you know the rest)
1.00 pm arrive at bus depot phnom penh. hire tuk-tuk to take you to other bus depot. arrive at other bus depot with 2 hours to spare. have lunch at nearby sidewalk cafe. pay for lunch. look around for somewhere to buy souvenirs. end up buying fruits and looking at electronics equipment.
2.30 pm go and wait for bus. wait some more. still waiting. (ticket says bus departs phnom penh at 3.00 pm.) meanwhile, take photos of wahtever you can see that proves you've been to cambodia. buy cold softdrinks in korean minimart next door (koreans really are everywhere!!) bus starts loading at 3.00 pm. reason for delay? waiting for more passengers, as there are only 6 of you currently on board. you choose to occupy empty row. more space. oh, and bus has portalet. a mini-sized one.
bus departs phnom penh 3.30 pm. as usual, travel, travel, travel. tour guide (kunduktor) collects passports again.
no, no! visa expired already! cannot! but sir, we have letter from immigrations official (c/o ms. marias very extensive network of connections) allowing my auntie to get a new visa upon entry into vietnam. okay, okay. no rablem.
hands out health check forms again. travel, travel, travel. this time to the lovely accompaniment of an ecclectic selection of vietnamese, cambodian and english (circa 1960) songs. turn up volume on ipod.
arrive cambodian border 7.30 pm. visa no rablem, give me picture. what picture? your auntie's picture for visa papers. we need picture? we don't have picture! what! no picture! no, no visa! but mr. immigrations man, we were not informed that we need to give picture for visa papers. no, no visa! go get picture!
auntie rides motorbike to look for photoshop. meanwhile, go through customs and vietnamese immigrations. get passports back. wait outside border office for auntie. wait some more. start to get nervous. call auntie. hear auntie's cellphone ringing in her bag, which she left behind when she got on motorbike. *facepalm* wait some more. ask bus driver to call motorbike driver to look for auntie.
no rablem. my friend take good care of auntie. get photo, get visa. we wait here. no rablem!
get back on bus. bite nails, check face of every motobike driver and passenger that pass by. wait some more. auntie arrives after 30 mins. pays motorbike driver $5.oo US dola. passport and visa okay now. take deep breath and relax.
8.15 bus resumes trip. travel, travel, travel. can't sleep anymore. close eyes and keep listening to ipod. travel, travel, travel some more. arrive ho chi minh city 10.00 pm. woo-hoo!
get off at bus depot at 10.15 and get taxi. arrive home 10.45 pm.
inalog na duhat!
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anytime just keep believing
and i'll be right here
if you ever need a friend
someone to care and understand
i'll be right here
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